Ah Lian vs Old Auntie: An Earnest Commentary
I was in Genting for the past 3 days for a short getaway and while I certainly did not miss the RM15.00++ chicken rice, it reminded me I missed something of local flavour…Lo & behold the hyperactive STOMPers never fail to deliver.
Old Auntie: “Most probably you’re from China”
Woh woh auntie be careful of what you say…another step in the wrong direction could land you a lashing from more than this (seemingly) meek young lady. Don’t hate the chinese. It is because of goon heads like you we can’t live harmoniously with our new chinese residents. I mean, shouldn’t we have already learnt our lessons from the Sun Xu & Ferrari driver incidents that these razor tongues are not to be trifled with.
Ah Lian: “Say enough already anot?”
I don’t know why but that was this huge farting sound which immediately followed. Maybe someone decided farting works better because someone obviously thinks through her butt.
OA: “I not happy with you when you staring when I request for the seat”
My mum used to tell me not to stare at gangsters. I think I might have to avoid looking anyone into the eyes now that even old aunties have picked up the Staring Game. But you know what’s the difference? Gangsters have parangs to prove their point. Whereas auntie you have only your broken english to fend for yourself. And when they say that the pen is mightier than the sword, they only mean it when your statements are unbroken.
OA: “I’ll be publishing the TODAY paper and let people see”
Try The Newpaper. Only The Newpaper publish trash like these.
AL: “I let you sit already still talk so much for what”
Random Passanger: “Can shuddap anot?”
Call this Singaporean style of valiancy. Whoever said that must be some obsessed Girls Generation’s fan who’s only interested in hearing them croon over his earphones.
AL: “Why you take my photo?”
OA: “To let the pubish know what kind of lady you are!”
AL: “Then you don’t take my photo, hello.”
Erm, pubish?? Does it stands for somewhere the sun don’t shine? Because it reminds me of pubes. And what kind of rebuttal is that? Anyways, hello is usually used at the front of a sentence, typically as an opener for a telephone conversation.
10 secs later…Old Auntie re-attempts to take a photo of Ah Lian
AL: “Enough ah”
OA: “WHY YOU STARE AT ME?!?!”
C’mon, only a 5 year old will not be able to detect your obviously flawed sense of logic and your lousily disguised distractor. Only kindergarten debates end up like this.
OA: “I’m asking for Honesty. The wording here (points at signage) is for what? My leg is for what?”
Your leg is for walking. The signage didn’t mention giving priority to uncouth big mouthed old hags. And TBH, I don’t feel like giving you the seat.
OA: “Fuck, you’re using the word Fuck in the Pubish”
Oh I think KNNBCCB actually sounds better, don’t you think so?