Contrary to what many say, NS has been a positive experience for me. During these 2 years, I have met important people and learnt invaluable lessons. I would hereby like to share 10 things that I have learnt during these 2 years.

Live In The Present

Do you find yourself worrying too much about the future? Do questions like, “What course should I study in University?”, “What will I be doing for a career?” and “What internship should I seek to get me a head start in Uni?” sound familiar? I used to worry a lot about the future and how I should find opportunities to give me an edge over the others in school and my career. Yet I realised that by worrying excessively about the future or over-indulging in the past, I found myself standing on the same spot, stagnant. Someone once liken time to money. Imagine, if a non-cumulative sum of $86,400 will be injected into your bank account everyday and you could spend it anyhow; failure to spend it would reset the account to 0 at the end of the day and back to full the next day, most people would try their best to expend this sum of money on anything they want to get. Ironically, most people forget that we too have 86,400 seconds a day and our time bank resets with the start of each day. If we remain undecided and choose to do nothing about our lives, we would be wasting the 86,400 seconds given to us each day. On the flip side, if we could fully utilise this amount given to us, we could be immensely rich in whatever that we possibly want - knowledge, wealth, experience and the list goes on. Grasp onto the present and make the best of everything we have now. Let go of the past and quit worrying pointlessly about what is to come.

Stop Comparing

I have always been competitive since young. Case in point, I have always aimed and scored near perfect or perfect scores for all my major examinations. I exceeded expectations in primary school and scored straight A*s for my PSLE. I enrolled myself in River Valley High School, a reputable SAP school, after which and scored a decent 8 pointer in secondary school to earn myself a placing in National Junior College, one of the top 5 junior colleges in Singapore. I continued the streak by scoring straight As in my ‘A’ Levels. For 18 years of my life, examination results has been my only measure of success and there was a point in time I thought I was better than everyone else. However, I took a huge beating from life upon entering the Army. To my shock, in the Army, no one ever gave a damn how much each other scored in ‘A’ Levels or how they did in studies. It all boils down to whether you are competent out in the field. I found it hard to adjust to this new playing field and could not bear to admit that I was inferior to others. My competitive nature kicked in and I found myself comparing a lot more than before. More often than not, this comparison would backfire and my self-esteem would end up wounded. A good friend once told me that my fear of losing is my greatest weakness. Similarly, many of us are guilty of envy. When someone outdoes us in our craft, our defence mechanism tends to act up and we try to convince ourselves: “I could do that too!” or if unsuccessful, give up and admit we can never accomplish as much. Through the episode mentioned above, I realised that there is no point comparing. “一山还比一山高” (meaning there will always be someone better). Relieve yourself of this meaningless burden and do yourself a favour by applauding the success of those around you. Quit being a miser and hoard knowledge to yourself. Thou that share shalt receive in return.  

Slow Down, Relax

Ever met with the situation of packing yourself with too many things in your day’s schedule? Do you feel that your life is a mere routine and you busy day in and day out just to fulfill that mental checklist you have set for yourself? Back in Officer Cadet School (OCS), considering how short-lived weekends were, I used to jam-pack my book outs with meet-ups with friends and used the remaining time to complete any mundane routine tasks like ironing my clothes and packing my book-in bag. As months go by, I realised that I have grew numb and indifferent to everything around me. I no longer pay as much attention to the music played on my iPod; I grew lukewarm towards the people I meet; I scan through my magazines instead of digesting them slowly. Although my life was running like clockwork, it felt empty. I felt I was living life too fast or at least not slow enough for me to savour the smaller and more inconspicuous details. Let’s live a little! Forgo that evening gathering with a bunch of people you are uninterested to meet. Instead pamper yourself with a screening of your favourite comedy and a cuppa of warm coffee in hand. Turn on the radio and lay in bed doing nothing but humming to the melody of your favourite tunes, whatever. For once, screw work and give yourself a well-deserved break. Don’t let anyone tell you you don’t deserve it for you really do after slaving half your life away.

Take Small Steps

 I have a good friend, by the name of Li Yuan, who is able to execute handstands and does a pretty decent job at it. Whenever he practises doing handstands, he will inevitably invite envious looks and occasionally one or two curious souls will approach him and ask him how he does it. Conventionally, Li Yuan would first do a short explanation about the intermediate stages to a full-fledged handstand before demonstrating the moves. For a clearer picture, he would first get into a full squat position before attempting to support himself on only 2 hands, adjusting his body such that his center of gravity lies in a straight line through his feet. He would then lean forward and pushes himself off the ground, straightening his arms in the process. Funnily enough, most people stop short at watching his demonstration and skip the explanation part in their heads altogether. Most would walk away with resigned looks on their faces when they attempt to push themselves into a handstand position and fail terribly. Whenever we attempt to pick up a new craft or improve upon it, we often focus too much on the end state and fall short of recognising that there are many intermediate stages to it. Thus, most people would not dare to take the leap of faith and believe they can accomplish what they set out to do. “成功不是一朝一夕的” (meaning success cannot be achieved within one night). Take baby steps and acknowledge every single progress, no matter how small. Although slow, it will certainly bring you to success faster than staring into blank space.

Let Go, Ego

 How many times have we strained or forgo a relationship just because we refused to say: “Sorry, I was wrong.” I used to be very egoistic and, admittedly, still very much am now. It didn’t help that I became an officer in the Army and had an image to maintain. I self-confess that there were times when I tried to argue myself out of a mistake, or to put it bluntly, insisted that I was right. Shortly after “winning the debate” however, I would feel a tinge of regret and fleeting thoughts of incompetency would surface in my mind. These thoughts soon manifested in my brain and became a self-fulfilling prophecy (or at least I thought so). I learnt that sometimes it is so much easier on myself to admit my mistakes. In my case, admitting my mistakes relieved me of any pressure from trying to keep up with a lie to cover up for them, hence allowing me to recover from my mistake faster. It was also a display of my generosity and humility in front of my subordinates. Everyone makes mistakes. What differentiates a great leader from one that’s not is his ability to let go of his ego and admit he was wrong. Stop letting your subordinates suffer the consequences of your errors. Give them and yourself a break. 

For Part II view here: link